


Divinations - Possible Ways to get killed

by Inflamora_Notoris



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-09
Updated: 2013-04-09
Packaged: 2019-08-10 22:43:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16463789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inflamora_Notoris/pseuds/Inflamora_Notoris
Summary: With Professor Trelawny out ill, the class get a substitute. Then chaos eschews.





	Divinations - Possible Ways to get killed

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Harry Potter. This is just for humour's sake. So send in those possibilities.

Divinations - Possible ways to get killed

 

"Hello class. I am your temporary teacher while Professor Trelawney is in the infirmary with the flu" the lady spoke her mid-length brown hair up in a high ponytail, her blue-grey eyes behind a pair of blue thin rimmed glasses.

Harry and Ron glanced at each other as the teacher checked the register speaking when their names cropped up.

"As I said, Professor Trelawney is in the infirmary with the flu so I will be taking you class," spoke the Professor. "I am Rachael Ardorlur, you may address me as Madam Raven."

"Madam Raven? As in the famous tarot reader, Madam Raven?" asked one of the students.

Madam Raven nodded with a smile and the class broke out in whispers. "I have decided that since your teacher is… a  _distrusted_ member of the sight guild," Madam Raven shuddered at the word distrusted. "That we are going to have a fun lesson today."

The class stared at her as if she was crazy. Madam Raven grinned and placed her hands together. "The lesson today is that we are going to make a list of possible ways to get killed. Remember anything is possible."

* * *

 

_Falling down a flight of stairs_

_Spontaneous combustion_

_Attacked by drapery_

_Death by laughter_

_Falling into a volcano_

_Drowning_

_Getting shot in the head/heart_

_The killing curse_

_Christmas tinsel (_ "It is possible!" spoke the student that suggested it. _)_

_Electrocution_

_Attacked by wild animals_

_Starvation_

_Dehydration_

_Lack of air_

_Internal bleeding_

_Beaten to death_

_Struck by lightning_

_Over-eating_

_Alcohol poisoning_

_Poisoning_

_Overdose_

_Measles_

_Cancer_

_Over-drinking_

_Tumor_

_Meningitis_

_Strangulation by another_

_Stabbed to death_

_Falling_

_Car crash_

_Plane crash_

_Falling objects_

_Freezing to death_

_Terminal illness_

_Crushed to death_

_Buried alive_

_Burned alive_

_Bathing in acid_

_Bludgeoning_

_Snapped neck_

_Punctured organ_

_Decapitation_

_Allergic reaction_

_Scalding (hot water)_

_Hit by a train (_ "Bye bye birdie" spoke one of the students causing the class to snicker. _)_

_Russian Roulette_

_Covered in tuna and thrown in a pit full of hungry cats_

_Scared to death_

_Attacked by Fluttershy (_ "Who is Fluttershy?" half the class and Madam Raven winced as the boy was dragged from the room by a yellow pegasi with pale pink mane and tail. _)_

_Bisection_

_Being a German spy in Britan during WW1 [Guest]_

_Made into cupcakes (Pinkie Pie, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic)_

_Half-Death by ghost portal_

_Melted by Vlad (Danny Phantom character)_

_Killed by Amity Park ghost_

_Killed by Basilisk_

_Killed by Medusa_

_Death by chocking on words_

_Pissed off a halfa named Vlad_

_Clockwork stopping you from being conceived [from cupcakes to Clockwork – 1eragon33]_

_Trampled by a rampaging Hippogriff_

_Dip -if you're a cartoon character ((Infra: Question what is dip Cynthia?))_

_Steamroller_

_Eaten by a dragon [Hippogriff to Dragon by CynthiaW]_

* * *

 

The bell rang for the end of class and the class walked out of the room chatting wildly. "Well that was a fun class. Right, Harry?" spoke Ron.

Harry snickered. "Hermione would not believe us if we told her."

The two boys walked down to the great hall to get lunch.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, Fran here. Posting this and a few others as a backup plan away from "Critics". A few friends have already been attacked by these and I am not one to be on this list.


End file.
